Being a Group Leader for the first time!

It's been a long time since I went to touch center last time. I believe It's encouraging to see some of the familiar faces in between the busy school schedules. We visited Mdm Tan and Mdm Cheong this week. I was assigned to the group leader at the first time. Erm, it's time to do some real work after a few times of free-rider, haha.

We decided to visit Mdm Tan @ blk 62 first because Mdm Cheong said she is only free to see us after 11. It took me a while to find her departments as I'm quite unfamiliar with the surrounding. She speaks Hokkien. Unfortunetely I don't understand and therefore i decide to do the house work. We entertained her by singing some of the chinese songs. Interestingly, she started to talk about me after knowing I come from China. She asked me where I live and whether my parents live with me and a couple of other questions. I was quite surprised that she actually concerned about me though it was my first time visiting her. She also told us that she got 7 siblings and she was the second elderest. She had to work at 15 to support the family. I feel sad for her that she had to comprise her study to raise the family.

Then we went to visit Mdm Cheong. We were a bit late and She was about to have her lunch. She told us she needed to go to church after our visit so we got to rush a bit. The first impression of her department was the arrangement of the furnitures. There were 3 chairs aligned in front of her bed and 2 more neatly rested at the sides of the table. I was surprised that she was particular about the ways to do the housework though I had heard about her from other volunteer before. We mopped the windows, floors and chairs. She also treated us a soft drink and that was really appreciated after a day of work.

Other than the usual visiting, this time we were asked to help inform the elderly about the emergency button and collect their birth date. It was fun to note that many of them cannot rememer their birthday so just noted as 1st Jan.

There were less ppl this time as it is close to exam period. So we had to go on a group of 2 or 3 which I think more manpower needed. The arragement of making the new comers as the group leader was great. I was given a piece of paper with all the elderly's info on it. Personally for me, words in black and while help me remember their particulars like name and address. And it was also a wonderful experience to get a feeling of how time management and task management as a group leader given the limited manpower.

Lu Jiajie

A Trip Back Home

My previous entries dated 14/07 and 08/06. It has been 4 months since I've blogged here.

It has also been 4 months since I last read the blog; before I typed my draft I took some time to read the latest entries by mostly new volunteers for some inspiration. They were about how they fell in love with Geylang Bahru, about how they fell in love with volunteering, and about how they fell in love with our lovely elderly. Definitely worth anyone's time reading them. Brings back so much memories when I first visited T.H.E.S. It's been 3 years.

Fortunately, it wasn't 4 months since I visited. If it were any better, I went for the unofficial visit on 19/10. It turned out quite... defining I guess. Somehow fate brought me back that particular week. It was during the time where I could take a break from everything else. I haven't been coming back regularly, finding all sorts of excuses not to. Feeling tired is probably an excuse, or probably I'm just being hard on myself again.

It turned out to be the very last time I knocked on his door.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was tasked to conduct facilitation to check if the elderly were available for visit. Prior to heading to Mdm Cheng's home, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to communicate with her in Cantonese. With a bit of coincidence, I didn't have to go up to her unit as I bumped into herself and her friend at the lift landing at the void deck. Wasn't too difficult as I had expected, I spoke to them and asked for their availability. And with my half-past-six Hokkien, I went up to check on Mdm Chow whom I really 鸡同鸭讲-ed for a while before accomplishing my mission, and Mdm Tan, who greeted me with her sweet smile as always. Bumped into Mdm Cheong outside TSAC and she commented that I haven't been visiting for a while. I didn't know how much I missed these elderly.

It was just weird, skipping the 6th floor altogether. 

The visit began proper, and my group consisting of Yong Jian, Jocelyn and myself visited Mr Tay. When we reached the doorstep, Mdm Cheong was there and she gave him a bottle of liangteh. It has been a while since she gave him that. She also seemed to be pacifying Mr Tay, so we knew that he was not in his best of moods again.

Mdm Cheong left and Mr Tay requested us to call his sister. There was the dialing tone but shortly after every dial up, the connection was cut. We told him that there was no answer, and the result was the same when he took over the receiver. What's worse is that, we had to lie about not bringing our handphones because we should not be calling using our personal numbers. This did not do any good to his mood, thus we wasted no time in bringing him to the coffeeshop for his buttercino. He complained about his poor relationship with his neighbour along the way.

Throughout, Mr Tay's mood was as gloomy as the weather. He would ruminate about his lack of eyesight, and the ailments that accompanies his old age. About the long waits for his weekly coffee and the companionship of volunteers. He alternated from saying wa jin gan kor, to kamxia lilang.

We would try to engage him in different topics to cheer him up and distract him from his sadness. We massaged him and told him about our daily lives, that our exams are coming real soon. We also conveyed a message from Chun Hai and Xueting, who are in China for their exchange. Mr Tay really missed them (and their massaging prowess) and his mood was significantly improved thereafter, smiling more often. As we sent him home, he did not kick a fuss, and thanked us non-stop in appreciation.

940 shared this in her long message and I share the same sentiments: we are very used to our vision and thus take it for granted too often. It hinders our ability to be sensitive towards elderly like Mr Tay. Although he would not be able to know if we had acknowledged what he said, sometimes all we need to do is to simply listen. 讲难听 it seems that he is always whining about stuff, he just wants to see our response if he is important to us. Hence we have to assure him that he IS important to us, through actions like bringing him down for his coffee, holding his hand, massaging him and patting him on the back.

I have to admit that when it comes to visiting Mr Tay, it is not easy to keep up with his volatile mood swings, and I mentioned before that it can get frustrating at times. I am thankful for timely reminders from my fellow volunteers that we are constantly making impact on our elderly's lives and that our companionship keeps them going. The volunteering journey is not always a smooth-sailing one but this is what that makes it more fulfilling.

Feels great to be back home. It will be a while till the next visit. All the best to everyone for your exams! :)

-Jeremy 阿乐

The Colorful Past X The Truth

This is my first time visiting Mr Tay. As usual, we brought him down to the coffee shop to have his coffee with butter! We then talked to him about random stuff like why he like to have butter coffee, what happened during WWII, and his kampong life. Oh and he knows martial arts last time! Then when we brought him home, he asked us to call his sister. We knew that his sister wouldn't answer but we didn't want him to be disappointed, so we pretended that she answered and told her Mr Tay reached home already. Mr Tay kinda wanted to rush to the phone to talk to her but we told him that she hanged up already. He got abit upset and pissed with us for not letting him talk to her. So...yeah.. next time when any elderly ask us to call someone on their behalf, just answer truthfully :( Oh and Mr Tay needs newspapers for bathing and stuff..so just bring some during the visits yeah.

I could feel the happiness and joy from these elderly during the visits. For Mr Tay, he really looks forward to every Saturday's visit because that is the only day of the week that he can leave his house and go down for a cup of coffee. And for that, he is really thankful to the volunteers. For these elderly, a simple act can actually bring a lot of happiness and comfort to them. And a lot of times, we just take for granted of those simple acts shown by people around us. Besides caring for these elderly, we should also learn from them to be grateful and cherish everything around us.

YieYin

The Warmth

For this official visit, my group and I have the privileged to visit both cheery and smiley ladies, mdm chow moi and mdm tan. Despite having old age related disability, these ladies have exhibited the most positive characters a volunteer can ask for.  Both of them have hearing difficulties, and my group need to shout at the top of our lungs to have ourselves heard. It was an unforgettable experience as it subtly exhibits the difficulties that the elderlies face. Yet, despite this their beautiful smile sand sometimes funny jokes can make our day brighter.

The visit made me come to realise the loneliness that the most elderlies felt. In this society where work and academic take precedent, families are often neglected, and cast aside. During the visit, it made me realise how in this society, elderlies has been taken for granted and forgotten. Putting myself in their shoe, I would also long for the warmth and belonging that a family or the society could give. This made me understand the fiery passion that some of our volunteers demonstrate to make this elderlies feel wanted. Hence I think at the end of the day, credits must go to all the volunteers, all the unsung heroes that not only empowered the elderlies and also to my own personal developments. Great job guys.

-Edwin

For the official visit on 12^th Oct, my group visited Madam Ho and Mr Lin.

When we first arrived at Madam Ho’s doorstep, we asked if Madam Ho was in and she jokingly replied ‘no’. As it was a first time visit to Madam Ho’s house for all 3 of us, we were stunned for a moment. However, an ex-volunteer was visiting her at that time as well and he welcomed us in. We started off by offering to help her clean up her house. We were not sure what was required, so Madam Ho gave us instructions on how to go about cleaning up such as clearing the dust from the mats and which brooms, mops and pails to use. After that was done, we sat down and chatted with her. I found out she can speak and understand many languages! She told us stories and offered us carrot juice to drink too. It was enjoyable listening to her share but soon it was time to leave. We bid our goodbyes and headed to Mr Lin’s house.

At first we did not know what to expect as we were told that Mr Lin might not be very welcoming. When we arrived, his relative was in his house and Mr Lin told us he was going out. However, his relative told him to stay behind so Mr Lin welcomed us in.  We offered to help him do some housework but he rejected and told us that there would be people coming over to help him too. So we sat down and chatted with him instead. He was rather cheerful that day and gladly talked to us about everything. He told us about his family in Indonesia, his daily activities, his preferences etc. It was eye-opening to hear Mr Lin’s insights on issues happening in the world today and his stories are very interesting too.

Overall, I had a great time visiting both Madam Ho and Mr Lin. They were both very friendly towards us. It was a meaningful experience!

-Michelle

Last week, we visited Madam Cheng and Madam Wong and it was my 2^nd visit to both their houses.

As usual, Madam Cheng’s house was already clean so we mostly talked and watched television shows. I was a little worried at first as I was the only one the group who could not speak nor understand Cantonese, but thankfully, my groupmates translated parts of the conversation and I tried to guess what the rest of the conversation was about. She talked about her life, and also imparted us some useful cooking tips, such as how chicken would be nicer if you reheated the chicken after leaving it in the refrigerator overnight! I feel that it is always interesting to talk to these elderly as they are cheerful and I always learn new things from them.

After which, we visited Madam Wong seemed to be quite cheerful that day. Madam Wong can actually speak many languages, such as Chinese, Malay, Cantonese!  We helped to tape her floor as the wheelchair damages her flooring rather frequently, and talked to her, mostly about languages and food.  Madam Wong seems quite the gourmet as there are always interesting snacks in her house!

I feel that every visit is always meaningful and there’s always something to learn from them, be it life experiences, values etc. I hope to pick up dialects quickly so I can finally hold a proper conversation with them! J

-Jiamin

Sorry for the late post!

This is my first visit! I visited Mr Tan and Mr Ong on 26,Oct. Mr Tan is a very outspoken and friendly man. He was smiling throughout the visit! When we reached Mr Tan's home, we found he was home alone. He was very happy to see us. He was in very good health condition and he told us he swept the floor every two days so he don't need us to do housework for him. I helped him to change the light bulbs and after that we sat on the floor chatting with him. He shared a lot with us about his memory of the period of Japanese occupation and his working experience when he was young. The atmosphere was relaxed.

Next we went to Mr Ong's place. He just recovered from a surgery and he told us the doctor suggested him doing another surgery for his right eye which is unable to be closed. We helped him to check his bill from the clinic as he can only read and speak in Chinese. Mr Ong loves listening to Chinese songs. So we played a few songs through our phones and sang together for him. I didn't sing because I felt so shy haha. Before we leave, we sent a few songs to his handphone and showed him how to play the songs on his phone. I should say Mr Ong's life is quite tough and his mind was not very clear. I'm a little worried.

After this visit I'm more determined that I should keep visiting the elderly regularly as their life is not easy. They need both material help and company.

Every minute I spent with them is so meaningful. Looking forward to my next visit!

Yinghao