My group, consisting of Xinhong, Weifeng, Jiamin and I, visited Mdm C.S.K first. Most of us already know Mdm C.S.K as our adorable "Commander" and she proved her prowess again by telling us that she wanted to do a mini spring cleaning of the stuff stored away behind her bed the moment we stepped into her house.
During the process, we got "told off" quite a bit because we were too eager/fast-paced for her liking and didn't know she had further instructions or preferences. I found it very amusing whenever she tell us off and Xinhong and I just kept laughing and grinning (behind her back). I think it was a rather new experience for Xinhong since she only visited Mdm C.S.K once or twice before and is not exactly used to her style but she still did a very good job under Mdm C.S.K's command :) On the other hand, I have visited Mdm C.S.K numerous times and have gotten used to her style. However, what struck me in particular that day whereby I was "told off" more than usual was that despite being commanded to do this and that and being "told off", I actually really like our interaction. It didn't feel like a typical beneficiary-volunteer kind of relationship whereby she is very 客气 with us but one that felt more like a grandparent-grandchild kind of relationship, like how my grandma would also make a fuss and "tell me off" if I help her do her stuff wrongly (:p). I think visits at Mdm C.S.K's place might be quite overwhelming for people who do not visit her as much since her style is really different from the rest of the elderly but it is very heartening to see Xinhong and Jiamin, who do not visit Mdm C.S.K a lot, doing their best in accomodating Mdm C.S.K and continuing to be cheerful and eager (though I can tell they were suffering quite a bit from their expressions haha). I think every visit is not just a lesson learnt from our elderly, but also from our fellow volunteers. :)
So we helped to change the newspaper wrappings and layering, cleaned the mirror, swept and wiped the area behind her bed and also did the usual chores like wiping the windows and chairs while chatting with Mdm C.S.K. She asked us if we watched the commercial on TV. She was referring to the event held by Mediacorp which brought them out to have fun (you can watch the video on our Facebook page). She said when she went around downstairs, a lot people told/asked her about her prominent appearance on TV and she was very proud and happy about it. I asked her if the Mediacorp artistes are nice and she answered that it is not so much about whether the artistes themselves are nice or not but the event and the act of going down to bring them out and dance and sing for/with them is already very kind and she is very appreciative and grateful for that.
While putting the boxes back to the area behind her bed, she opened one to check what is inside and saw that her wedding pictures were inside. She told us that her husband was 18 years older and her and she married when she was 20. Someone asked her what she saw in her husband which made her decide to marry him. She said that he was an honest man and not a playboy (花心) and did not have any bad habit. She married him after meeting him for 2 months.
Another memorable snippet of our conversation was that (if I did not remember wrongly), Weifeng volunteered to do the dirtier chore since he was the only guy and Mdm C.S.K responded that nowadays 男女平等 (gender equality) already, whatever guys can do, girls can do as well. I was quite surprised by her response and how modern her mindset is since we tend to think that elderly are still rather traditional. This is like a reminder to not stereotype elderly as being 老古董 (old fogey), close-minded and etc. and I think it is important because it may affect our interaction with them. A year with THES has changed the way I interact with elderly. I no longer hesitate to talk about "modern" stuff and I think it is very good that we update them also, because to some elderly who do not have TV nor read the newspaper, and those who have lost their sight, we are like their window to the world outside.
Unknowingly, time past rather quickly while doing the chores but Mdm C.S.K still needed help with the mopping of floor so Weifeng stayed while the rest of us left to visit Mdm C.Y.L.
On the way, we walked past Mr T.C.C having his coffee with the other volunteers. I thought we should drop by to say hello to him, especially since Jiamin and I were together. For Mr T has nicknames for everyone to help him better remember us since he can't see us. Jiamin's nickname is Siew Mai (due to the escalation of mispronunciation) and we 将错就错 and I decided to call myself Har Gow. Hence we are the SiewMai HarGow duo :D and Mr T really remembers us for it. It has been barely a month since our nicknames have been decided but he was asking me where was Siew Mai when I visited him last week.
We then went to Mdm C.Y.L's house and we helped her to tape the flooring, which she explained that the floorpaper always tears due to her wheelchair continuously scraping against the usual spots. We chatted with her and were on the topic of NDP and Jiamin suggested we sing the National Anthem for her but in the end we were too shy to sing together so we didn't. I guess this shyness and embarrassment issue is one hurdle which I have yet to pass but I shall work on it :)
In the end Jiamin decided we should play songs for her and we asked her what songs she used to listen to and she said Cantonese songs. So we randomly threw in names of Canto Singers that we know of such as 张国荣 (Leslie Cheung)，梅艳芳 (Anita Mui)，郭富城 (Aaron Kwok) etc. We also mentioned 凤飞飞 (Feng Fei Fei)，邓丽君 (Teresa Teng). She was telling us how some of them passed away early. It is heartening to see her being enthusiastic on topics which was of her time.
We were talking about how Aaron Kwok is still single though he is in his forties and the conversation escalated to difference between males and females in their forties, women giving birth in theirs forties and how some women quite old already but still very hiao (online definition: indecent, whorish, sexy) and before we know it, we were telling her about Fann Wong giving birth on National Day and her pregnancy photo shoot hahaha. We googled and showed her the pictures.
Something which struck me most was when she said
"有空就来看我" (Visit me when you are free) when we were leaving. I don't think I
remembered her saying it so straightforwardly in the past when I see her. But
as the year pass by, she seems increasingly eager for us to visit her. It is a
good thing since it shows our increasing bond and friendship but I do hope that it is not because she is increasingly lonely. It
makes me feel kind of sad that most of the time they are alone and can't
do a lot of things and every week we are only there for 1 hour for each of
them. In the past, when I have to converse with them I usually ask standard
questions, like about family, about their past and stuff. But I think by now
they would probably have become quite bored of these topics so I am trying my
best to talk about other stuff with them (that's why I updated her about Fann Wong hahahah).
It has been another enriching Saturday morning and I look forward to seeing everyone again :D
Mei Na
