Senior femme fatales

Haha, hope the title isn't misleading.
"Femme fatale" is a fancy phrase, something along the lines of alluring and mysterious I believe heh.

Anyway, as I think back about my past 2 semesters with T.H.E.S, I realize there are really some strong female characters among our elderly friends. Much to learn from them! Be it through hearing their past experiences, or (perhaps more potently) from their current struggles in their advanced years. Due to my (somewhat) limited time, I still haven't been able to interact with all the seniors, so I will share specifically about those I have come into more regular contact with.

Firstly, mdm K. Truth be told, most volunteers may have an impression of her being rather vocal and uninhibited in her opinions. Owing to certain medical conditions, she has been hospitalized for a rather substantial length of time. It does feel a bit disheartening that her hospitalization has inevitably taken a toll on her in more ways than one. As I visit her week-to-week, she fluctuates in her physical condition and consequently - her level of energy as well.

Nonetheless, although she may be keeping her eyes tightly-shut to conserve energy when I visit her, never once has she made bitter complaints about her condition. Sure, there may be occasional jabs against the hospital staff or much-needed requests to quell the overwhelming pain in her body. However, she remains tenacious in her battle against the various ailments. Her steely will really bubbles to the surface in the face of such unbearable conditions - kudos to her!

Secondly, our dear canto-speaking mdm. C! Really glad that she at least remembers my name haha. For those who may not know, she is rather HEAVILY involved with a variety of events initiated by the various elderly-oriented organizations. Despite her caustic demeanor and sharp-shooting ways, she is really quite soft-hearted - especially in her interactions with the students and with a specific neighbour of hers (mdm H. More on her later!)

On my most recent visit (15 Nov), I bumped into her at the void deck. She needed help in carrying her groceries, cause her arm was giving her some problems. As I walked with her, I was puzzled - cause previously I only knew of her other ailments (didn't remember any arm problem). Afterwards, she mentioned it has been periodically bothering her for a while. Despite that, she has been consistently lending a helping hand (pun not intended) to other elderlys who may require assistance. Really encouraged by these acts of service she provide; sometimes beyond her own comfort zone.

Last but not least - the aforementioned mdm H. She is nearing the big 9-0 already, and is experiencing chronic ailments in her lower limbs. She was recently admitted to the hospital too. Whilst visiting her, she has not shed any of her feisty-ness and quick quips. Nonetheless, I also saw her tender side when she mentioned her children - not wanting them to worry for her condition. It was a rather rare side of her (for me at least) that I haven't observed much previously.

Subsequently, I visited her for a short while after she was discharged. She looked visibly weakened as compared to her pre-hospitalized days, though still managing to make sharp comments at all the volunteers. Really heartened that she did not wallow in self-pity, but continued to adapt accordingly to the physical demands levied upon her body.

In short, these are just some recent episodes I had with these senior "femme fatales" ha. Life isn't always gonna turn out the way we want, but these unforeseen circumstances would serve to strengthen our ability to deal with challenges in future. The storied accounts our senior friends are apt illustrations of this truth!

-Weifeng

Work hard for exams guys!

Hi guys! I’m back with another post before I start getting real busy! Last weekend seems like the smallest group I’ve ever seen that came for visiting. It made me feel lonely when many of the regular faces were not around. Though I understand that many of you are unable to make it due to projects and exams, it’s still kind of saddening to see such a significant drop in the number of people. L

This time round, there are some guys from the Mediacorp who came to film our interactions with the elderly! Not sure what they filmed in the end because they didn’t visit my group but they sure came at a bad timing when there aren’t many volunteers around!

Anyway my partner for the day is Hui Jia and we went to visit everyone’s favourite(most likely) Uncle T.C.C! It’s my 1^st time meeting him so I’m quite nervous. Before we set off the rest were telling me to think of a nickname for myself. O.O

Well I introduced myself using my own name since I think it’s easy for the elderly to remember and Uncle T seems to like it a lot and keeps repeating it! Apparently his granddaughter has the same name as me and he started boasting about how his granddaughter is a university graduate and currently works in the airport as a clerk. But later I learnt that he does not have any children and I wonder how this granddaughter came about.

We accompanied Uncle T down for his usual dose of coffee with butter at the coffeeshop downstairs and helped to retrieve his letters on the way. I can see that he trusts the regular volunteers a lot as he passed them his keys to help him lock the door and to open the letterbox. He also requested Hui Jia to help him cut his nails later as he trusts her and that he would be afraid to ask us newer volunteers to help!

Uncle T is quite chatty and since I’m a newcomer, he asks me about my family. He then likes to tease Hui Jia about her family a lot since she’s rich apparently. He kept saying that she will get a Mercedes car next time since it rhymes with her nickname! I start teasing Hui Jia together with Uncle T, which made her feel flustered.Haha! XP

Oh and I heard that Uncle T has many “girlfriends” in the past! But perhaps because of that he splurges a lot and I can see that he kind of regrets it now, he keeps telling me to save up on my money and complains to me that he has quite little to spend from the monthly allowance given to him by the government.

Uncle T seem to notice that there are lesser people today since it’s nearing the exam period. He start questioning about each of the regulars and that’s when I heard of all the interesting nicknames the regulars have come up with! I had a hard time following up because I didn’t know who they refer to so I had to keep asking Hui Jia who is Hakao, Char Siew Bao, Lin DiDi/MeiMei and Chachamambo (plus some other normal nicknames). Halfway through the 2 other regular volunteers Engineer and Chachamambo joined us, which lifts Uncle T’s spirits up more!

On the way back we met Vernon and Luting who accompanied us back to Uncle T’s home. He had invited us back to his house as he wanted to show off the new alarm clocks he received from other volunteers! He likes them very much as the alarm plays old Chinese music (a short version) when it’s time! Although you are supposed to turn the alarm off, Uncle T actually let it continue sounding until it stops! Apparently there are 2 alarm clocks with each one set half an hour apart so in total the alarm will ring continuously for an hour. It may seem annoying to have an alarm ring for so long, but the music is actually soothing, not the noisy type, so it’s quite enjoyable. When Uncle T plays the alarm for us, he immediately became a stone statue and listens intently! We are all amused by the sight as we silently watched on, not bearing to stop his alarm. But the alarm clock is really interesting since it plays various old Chinese songs. I felt tempted to buy one for my grandma too!

Well that’s all for last week’s visit! Everyone Gambatte for the upcoming exams and be sure to come back and visit them once the busy period will be over okay!  Sad to know that I won’t be able to go for visits for the next 2 weeks though 

Lynn ^-^

It's been a really long time since I last posted my thoughts here so here I am!

I visited one of our new beneficiary last Saturday with Joelle and the new elderly is Mdm L and her long term friend/flatmate M! Mdm L is a really strong character and is always excited about sharing her stories with us. She used to be a volunteer at Touch Centre and she gets really excited when she gets the chance to shared the song and dance moves that she invented for the elderly at the centre! However, she had to stop working at the centre after she developed Glaucoma. But she remains a very cheerful and optimistic character even though she's losing her eyesight. Mdm L got a daughter and a son, her daughter is living in the US and I can tell her misses her because she kept telling me that she is coming back to visit her in 2 weeks' time!

Mdm L has a real interest in studying, she learned chinese medicine in secret even though her father was against it and she learned singing as well! She's familiar with all the tactics of singing and if you're lucky you can even get to hear her sing a few notes! I have to say her singing is super good and her voice strong and powerful despite her age of 84!

Another thing that touched me during this visit is the friendship between mdm L and M. They have known each other since young and mdm L have been taking care of M since she was 15! M is a very friendly and innocent character, which made her susceptible to people who are out to trick her of her money etc. I can tell that Mdm Lee is always worried about M getting tricked by others and she is very protective of her. And M is appreciative of this fact. Even though they don't always express their love for one another and mdm L would occasionally nag at M, I could tell they both appreciated one another for being there for one another whenever either of them needed help.

I think the take home message that I got from this visit is that no matter how depressed and tired you feel in life, you just need to get on with life and things will get better eventually. Sometimes life gets in the way of things. And you are left with regrets and feeling hard done by and in the process you spread the negativity to others. But that's just not worth it at all. Because when you're letting yourself get overwhelmed by these negativity, you're forgetting that there's a lot more things that you can do to improve the situation that you're in. All you need to do is just work with what you have because most of the time, things could have been worse. I think mdm L remained such a cheerful person partly because she knows she made a difference in people's life when she could with whatever she had. And that's enough for her.

To end off this post I'm gonna share a song from the movie "Wreck it Ralph". This movie carries a message and that message is that All of us, regardless of our size; our status; our ability; no matter how small you feel in this huge and complicated world that we live in, we all have a role to play in someone's life. So go out there and make a difference in someone's life right now. No matter how small that action is, it could be just saying a "good night" to your parents before you go to sleep tonight or just being kind to a random person who needs help.

Sometimes what this world needs is just a little more hope; a little more innocence; a little more fun, laughter, and a little more belief. There's always hope in life no matter how bleak things may seem. You just need to believe.

All the best for finals everyone :)

                                                                                                                                 - Vernon

BOO! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Hello fellow volunteers! Hope life has been treating you well so far! :) Last Saturday's visit warrants a special blog post because we finally have new elderly under our care to befriend! YAY!!! 

Gary and I visited a new beneficiary called Mdm L.K.K, also known as 公主 by most of the TOUCH social workers. Haha! It didn't take us long for us to get to know the reason why they picked that nickname for her. Apparently when she was young, her family was very rich. She even told us that she has never had to work before in her entire life! That is something amazing, come to think about it... But even though her family was rich, they were very altruistic and often helped out others in need by giving them financial support. I find it very commendable that people in the past really had that kampung spirit where everyone helped one another out, be it neighbours or complete strangers, and it really is something we should try to emulate in our modern lifestyle. 

This is a picture of when Mdm L.K.K was young, about 20 years old, with her three 'boyfriends' at the back. Hahaha... I wouldn't be surprised if she actually had many suitors back then, given how pretty she looked last time. Even my mum said she's very beautiful when I showed her the photo. Lol.

Nearing the end of the visit, Mdm L.K.K had to prepare to go to church so we left slightly earlier to visit another elderly. That's when we decided to go visit our other two new elderly! Mdm L. and her roommate Mary! Vernon and Joelle were already there before us. We had a great time over at their place. They had an electric piano at their home, so I shamelessly decided to play the only song that I knew which was "Doe-a-deer". And it was quite bad... haha... But Mary said I played very well, and Joelle got jealous! Hahaha! Jk... If Joelle you're reading this don't be mad. xD Both of them also shared with us many interesting (and at times sad) stories about their lives and we were very grateful that they shared these precious memories with us. 

That Saturday visit was a really enjoyable and meaningful visit for me. What left the biggest impression on me was the fact that even though our new beneficiaries barely knew us, they were so willing to share their experiences and knowledge with complete strangers. Perhaps that is what I really like about them. Perhaps as we grow older, we yearn for the chance to share with the younger generation our wisdom and experience. I'm sure it actually makes them happy that they get to share their whole life story to someone else. This reason alone makes our visits all the more worthwhile, because by providing a listening ear we are, in a sense, helping them achieve that goal. 

Alright! That's all from me! If you guys are interested to get to meet our new friends, do come down for our future visits! See y'all next time and all the best for your finals! =]

Andy