Visiting Mdm K

Last Saturday (24/5) was the first time that I joined the T.H.E Seniors volunteering programme. I’d like to thank Jiemin for introducing me to the programme because I really enjoyed the visit.

Mdm K was very active and talked a lot. We did not do any housework for her since her house was very clean. We just sat on the floor and listened to stories of her recent visit to the hospital and her family, traveling and love affairs. It seemed that her lung and stomach conditions troubled her a lot but she was still quite positive towards life. Due to the pain in her throat, she cannot eat normally, so the doctor recommended putting in a tube to feed her. However, the process of getting the tube in is very painful so she kept putting it off. We tried to encourage her to get the tube because otherwise she cannot eat. At the end, she was still reluctant to put in the tube but somewhat accepted it. She also mentioned death during our chat. However, she also talked about how ‘naughty’ she was in the hospital and how she teased all the nurses. It sounded that she had not given up on her life. I really hope that she could try to adapt to the life with the tube and never give up fighting against her diseases.

She likes social workers and the Christians who have offered her a lot of help during her stay in hospital. Although she is alone in Singapore, she does not want to move to Malaysia where part of her family lives.

She got really excited when we asked her about the stories behind her old photos. It seemed that she was happy that we were there listening to her stories. She shook our hands and gave each of us a warm hug when we left.

I think sometimes what the elderly need is just someone patient enough to listen to them. They have numerous life stories and experiences to share but there is just no one whom they can talk to. Reflecting on my own behavior during the visit, I think I could have ask more questions about those interesting points in her narrative. I was afraid that I might touch on some sensitive topics. However, I felt that when we asked questions and showed interest in her stories, her face lit up and her voice became brighter. I do not know if there are people that she can talk with besides us. It seemed that she welcomes us visiting her because she had kept talking without stopping the moment we arrived at her home.

Visiting her also reminded me of my grandparents. Since I do not live in the same city as them, I rarely have chance to talk to them. When I visit them during festivals, they keep asking me questions about my life and offering me food. I have never really sat down to listen to their stories. Basically, I learned about my grandparents’ lives from my parents. This summer, I will try to find a chance to visit my grandparents and talk with them. I suddenly realized the urgency of listening to them since one of my grandfathers has already passed away. I have alot of questions to ask them. Where have they been to? How did they marry? What were the biggest challenges in their life? What are their perceptions on happiness? How do they understand life and death? Suddenly I feel that every elderly is a treasure of experience and wisdom. They are not people who are weak and need help but have a whole life to share with the younger generations.

The visit was a rewarding and enjoyable experience for me. I would like to join more of T.H.E Seniors' activities in the coming few years.

Zhang Siyao

A fresh-’girl’ of NUS from China

Visit to Mdm T’s

Hello everyone!

Last Saturday marks my third visit to the elderly beneficiaries of Kallang TOUCH Seniors’ Activity Centre. Being relatively new here, I haven’t really had the chance to interact with most of the elderly (So far I only interacted with 2 of the elderly, Mr T and Mdm H). Last week, I was grouped together with our fellow CSC volunteers –Clement, Yin Min and Kai Him and we visited our elderly beneficiary, Mdm T.

The first thing that struck me as I entered Mdm T’s house was its cleanliness. Everything there was so organized and clean - food was placed neatly hanging from what seems to be re-shaped clothes hangers (She later confirmed that she made these hangers herself), the furniture were arranged in a nice order and the floor seem to be sparkling clean; Definitely much neater and cleaner as compared to the other elderly beneficiaries’ and my own grandparents’ home. After entering her home, some of us proceeded to perform her household chores first (Mopping, sweeping) before joining the rest of us who were then chatting with Mdm T. From my chat with Mdm T, I find her to be very endearing and optimistic. Never does she fails to give the occasional cheerful chuckle as she told us her experiences from her workplaces during her younger days,  her“ fried rice cooking techniques ”  which she seem so enthusiastic about ,and perhaps the stories about how she obtained the multiple plastic fans she had. Even though she has some vision impairment, thus not being able to see our facial expressions properly when conversing, she never fails to maintain her enthusiasm and the cheerful demeanour throughout the conversations that our group had. Moreover, she was genuinely interested to hold more conversations, always being the constant initiator of interesting conversation that I enjoy being a part of. Sometimes, Mdm T would rush to defend some of our volunteers in instances when jokes are being made amongst ourselves, or tell us not to be offended by her over-enthusiasm in sharing with us her stories. These small actions made me feel that Mdm T has actually built a bond with our volunteers and that she cares for our well-being. I hope that we(future/new/existing volunteers) would continue to care for Mdm T, just like how she cared for us.

That’s all from me. It was a rather meaningful visit to Mdm T’s house and I definitely wish to visit her again soon. Also, I hope to get to know more about our elderly beneficiaries in the weeks to come!

Jie Yang 

Mr T C.C, Official visit 24 May

     Today my group consisting of Shuangshuang, Edwin, Junda and me went to visit Mr T C.C. When we arrived at his doorstep, the front door was slightly opened and Mr T was sitting at the sofa. He was obviously waiting for us. We called out his name, he stood up quickly and approached the door. Being aware of his wounded leg, we reminded him to take his time and don't rush. The wound at his left shin had more or less healed but the lower half of the leg is swollen and Mr T remarked that it still hurts. Mr T had visited the doctor thrice and finished the prescribed medicine so he was worried that his leg may be amputated. Perhaps, because of his eyesight Mr T tends to be pessimistic every now and then. Now that he is injured and he can't attend to his own wound or at least see how his wound is like, this feeling of helplessness hit him even harder. We comforted him, patted his shoulder and told him to cheer up so that his wound may recover quicker.

     We were reminded to take photo of photos, this is for the scrap book THES will be making for each elderly to help them encapsulate their memories. We asked Mr Tay if he have any photos, without any hesitation he took out 3 albums from his drawer to show us. Flipping through the albums, we were quite surprised that there wasn't many photos of Mr T. Instead, there were many pictures of his female friends and perhaps his sister. As Mr T enjoy his butter coffee, we asked him who were those ladies. Mr T said they were his friends whom he used to go out with. We teased Mr T and asked him for the secret of going out with 3 ladies at once. Mr T told us that it was easy because he used to own a car and every time they eat out he would always treat them. Edwin was a little skeptical that Mr T had a car even though we saw photos of a car in the album. Shuangshuang clarified with Mr T and he said out his car plate number as proof. We checked the photo and sure enough the car plate number tallied. Shuangshuang was very impressed and the guys teased her by "judging" her. We asked Mr T what kind of girl he like. He admitted that he was quite picky, he doesn't like girls who are too "big" or too "small" and ideally she should look like Lin Dai, a famous actress-singer in the 50s and early 60s. He quickly added that, we should not be too particular about the appearance and what matters more is compatibility. His advice felt like a personal experience sort of advice and true indeed.

Ah Hai  


          

T.H.E.SENIORS Major Outing 2014

Dear volunteers,

T.H.E.SENIORS Major Outing 2014 is back to kick start your summer vacation!

What better way to spend your holidays than basking in nature's splendor with our elderly in HortPark for our second major outing of the academic year on Wednesday, 28th May from 9am - 1pm!

To sign up, please click on the link below:

http://tinyurl.com/thes-majorouting2

Slots will be filled on a first-come-first served basis and a confirmation email will be sent to you upon successful registration. 

Hesitate no more, sign ups close on 23rd May 2014, Friday, 2359h. We look forward to seeing you there!!! 

10 MAY 回家走走

Hello!!!!!!!

It has been a long long time since I last blogged. Good to be back! I really miss the elderly alot :'( It always feels comfortable and good to be back, to see all the new faces and of course to have short catch up with the old ones. I was grouped with Jiemin and we were assigned to visit Mdm C.M. and Mdm T.A.K.

We went to visit Mdm T.A.K. first. We swept and mopped her floor while talking to her. Topics covered were: jia ba buay(if she has eaten), whether the food was nice, the hot weather and how bathing just doesn't help, her broom bristles are coming out and littering her floor, Mothers' day celebration by TOUCH, how she prefer to fan herself rather than using electronic fan AND SHE REMEMBERED how I screamed and scared her when I saw a cockroach after lifting up a cloth. She was like ,"Oh it was you!" I still remembered how I scared her and other volunteers. But it was a natural reaction :p Whenever I see the tap at the elderly's house, I would laugh to myself. The special design of the tap only leave you with two scenarios: 1) you fill the pail with water 2) you make your back wet because you turned on the shower accidentally. Because the second scenario had occurred to me too frequently, I would instinctively move aside whenever I on the tap XD. After we were done with the chores, we sat down and ask if she remembered going to 新世界 last time. Her eyes lighted up at that topic=) She remembered she always went there to 看大戏 and shop for clothes. She said there were plenty of food stalls also, especially the yong tau foo stall which only charges 10 cents for 3 ingredients! She said in the past there were so many roadside stalls that she was able to shop from Kallang to Chinatown with her friends when they were not working. I really loved how enthusiastic she was when she was telling us all these=')

Next we visited Mdm C.M. AS usual we laughed first before talking. She looked more alert today as compared to the last time I saw her(yayyyyy!!!). But her memory is really failing. She tend to forget where she put her keys and had to search for it. I think she needs encouragement from us whenever this happens because she would to call herself "siao" when she couldn't remember where she left her keys. She taught us how to people-watch and was beaming with pride when we praised her about her cactus. When we asked her if she remembered about 新世界, she said she do! But forgot what she did over there. I am really thankful for Mdm C.M.
It must be scary to keep forgetting about things, to forget the people around you. But she never let all these
fears stop her from smiling. Her smile is still as infectious and cute. Thank Mdm C.M. For being so brave
and such an inspiration!

Sheng Xian

[10 May] One of my last few visits as an undergraduate..

Today, Chanel, Zihui and I went to find Mdm CSK and was warmly greeted by her “惠玉啊, 你来了啊~ (Huiyu, you are here~)” [ps: my name isn’t huiyu, but she associates me with local artiste Zoe Tay cos we have the same surname haha]. That familiar voice is one that I will never forget, and one of many things that kept me coming back on Saturdays for the last four years. :') Looking back, I recall how our seniors always warned us to be careful when tidying Mdm CSK’s house because she was very OCD about which cloth to use, which detergent to use, the layout of her furniture, etc. She hasn’t changed a bit these years. And instead of feeling afraid, I felt happy to be ‘scolded’ by her because it means she feels comfortable enough to tell us so. This is the charm of Mdm CSK haha. So, as usual, we did some cleaning of her windows, chairs and floor today. She also treated us to drinks and told us stories about how she got married off to JB and settled back in Singapore in 1991 after she got her Singapore I/C (which she proudly showed us). Another thing that’s awesome about Mdm CSK is that she lives up to the ‘活到老 学到老’ (lifelong learning) spirit. Even at her age, she still learns different languages like English and Chinese, and tries to improve her proficiency by speaking to us in these languages. She also volunteers regularly, helping other elderly with the buying of groceries or even going to old folks’ homes to perform. She’s really so ‘happening’ and active (speaking of which, she was preparing to go for a Sentosa trip after we left her house)!

 

Next, we went to visit Mr TSH. He was on his way for lunch when we arrived. So paiseh, cos he made a detour to invite us into his house. Mr TSH is another legendary character as he is a walking encyclopedia and historian. He never fails to enlighten us on worldwide politics and WWII experiences he had gone through. And so, we talked about local anti-Jap forces led by Lim Bo Seng, the merger and separation with Malaysia, NanJing massacre, Thai politics, etc. It was really enriching just listening to Mr TSH’s stories and insights on these topics, and his knowledge never fails to awe me.

Quoting Jeraldine, it is really great to be back after the short hiatus due to exams. Today is probably one of my last few visits as an undergraduate. :’( THES was the first RVP I joined, and I have never regretted my choice since. And I believe many of you will agree that while it may seem like a commitment to come back on Saturdays at first, it soon becomes a ‘habit’ and a part of your life to do so. The familiar sights and sounds become something that you really really look forward after each tiring week of school/work. :’) The bonds forged with our elderly through these four years as well as lessons learnt from them and our fellow volunteers are invaluable things I will treasure for life. It is really miraculous how we are able to share these bonds with our elderly, isn’t it? So, I’ll be back for more! Will you? ;)

Yinmin :)

10th May

Hallo all,

Today my group (Jerry and Eileen) visited Mdm H.G.N. The visit started off with a pleasant surprise since we saw long-time-no-see Xueting and Chunhai in Mdm H's unit. After that, we got down to the usual household chores and chatted with Mdm H about her week. Mdm H's hair had already grown out, and so we suggested bringing her down for a haircut. It took awhile to persuade her to go down as she was concerned that it might bring us inconvenience. This shows how much she cares about us, to be worried of causing even the slightest bit of inconvenience to us. On the way to the hairdresser's, we passed by Mr T and gang at the coffeeshop. It was an extremely heartwarming scene for me to see the volunteers fussing over Mr T since he had a fall earlier (Lin mei mei asking Mr T if he was okay, another volunteer fanning Mr T, Massage master Chun Hai massaging Mr T's shoulders, Richard bringing over the first aid kit to tend to Mr T's wound and a few others sitting by Mr T).

Throughout my experience in T.H.E.S, I have come across many admirable people (volunteers and elderly) who have been really generous with their time, the genuine and sincere care they have for others, with no expectations for anything in return. This encourages me and motivates me to be more 'giving' towards the people around me.

Lily

The intelligent Mr W. & the caring Mr T. ^^

Hi everyone!^^

It's been a while since I wrote here!:D On 10 May, I came to T.H.E.Seniors as usual. I had not come for 2 weeks ever since the exams and I really look forward to coming!^^ I felt very happy to see some volunteers who have not come in a while for this visit !:D

I visited Mr W. and we chatted by the door. Mr W. shared with me about his healthcare tips and knowledge and I realised there is really a lot which we can learn from our elderly!:) I shared with Mr. W. that I will be working in the holidays and before I left, Mr W.actually asked if I will stop coming to T.H.E.Seniors as he thought that I will be graduating and working. I am very touched as I actually have a place in the elderly's heart !<3 br="" nbsp=""> Next, I visited Mr. T. Mr T. had a fall that day. Despite his fall and being in pain, he kept asking us to eat at the coffeeshop and cared for our welfare. I really felt very touched as he put others above himself. He would be very happy to see regular volunteers come back each time and he would greet every volunteer with his sincere and excited tone. When I left, he was very happy for us as I told him we'll be having a party to appreciate our volunteers at night. Putting others above oneself and being happy for others can be a joy as well!:)

It's been 2 years since I joined T.H.E.Seniors and I am already at the end of my second year. As I look back , I feel that joining T.H.E.Seniors is really the best choice I have made since my uni life as I really look forward to each visit and I feel a sense of happiness nearing each visit. I guess it's the bond that I have forged with the wonderful elderly and volunteers that make me want to come back. This is amazing as this bond pulls us, from all over Singapore to come together and visit our elderly , at the same time, same place each week. I look forward to more visits !!:D

-Kahsuan ;)

Love Language

Love is one of the most complicated, profound parts of our lives. I've always struggled to comprehend love. Esp understanding one's love language. We all express love in very special unique ways: some show it with love, some with actions, some show it once in a while, some never do. Most of the time, we miss out on the least obvious signs of love, but sometimes, we pick them up in a very heart-warming realisation.

We all know Mdm W as a woman who is, as Victoria always says, a typical dao cantonese woman. She is picky with food, not extremely sociable, and dislikes noisy and active elderlies. She seems to be a not so expressive woman. Talking firmly, stingy with praise, and quite surely not a person who shows her care and concern easily.

Saturday, we arrived at the door and she walked over and asked me where have i been with a stern tone. while we are talking about tv, about photos, about her past, she began to open up more and smile more. when i sat down beside her to take a photo of her alcoholic possessions hehee she gave me a pat/rub on my head and said "傻仔".

Perhaps that is how she shows her "love". Don't expect someone like her to say she loves you. She won't give you a hug or a kiss. She will scold you, laugh at you. She will complain. But in her little subtle ways, she shows that she does care for one, and appreciates one being there with her. At least that is what i felt.

As always, as I left, I gave her a slight side hug and waved goodbye.

I may never understand love, but perhaps i would be reminded that sometimes, even when love is there, it is not that obvious to the eye, if you don't use your heart as well.

Kai Him.

Intelligent Madam

Saturdays are normally lazy days. Sleep in, eat breakfast, travel to kallang, sweep sweep mop mop drink coffee drink dounai. Conversations are heartfelt, interesting, educational, rewarding but mostly rather not so intellectual. But not w mdm CYL.

I find her to be a very smart lady. Through the many conversations with her, I am very glad to be able to tell that she is aware of the modern era, how things are going, how people are behaving. Not at all stuck in the olden ages, she has progressed with and caught up, somewhat, with society. She makes informed decisions after thinking through the consequences and effects thoroughly, and is not afraid to tell reject people's kind offers if she believes the cons outweigh the pros for her. In a way, that's pretty independent and self confident. She is great at engaging her audience too. She brings up new topics, every now and then to "spice up" the talks. Not only about her family or friends, not only about our school and exams and work. She introduces a lot of Cantonese proverbs and sayings, as an analogy or supplement to the chat topics. She has learnt to take care of herself, doing exercises as much as she can, while she can. She has also learnt to be happier and let go more of the things that arent so happy for her.

I always enjoy the time spent at her place, when we are able to engage in somewhat, more intellectual conversations than I would have expected previously. Very fulfilling most of the times, very comfortable to have indeed.

Besides having conversations, we take photos too, we always love to.

Kai Him.