Visiting Mdm K

Last Saturday (24/5) was the first time that I joined the T.H.E Seniors volunteering programme. I’d like to thank Jiemin for introducing me to the programme because I really enjoyed the visit.

Mdm K was very active and talked a lot. We did not do any housework for her since her house was very clean. We just sat on the floor and listened to stories of her recent visit to the hospital and her family, traveling and love affairs. It seemed that her lung and stomach conditions troubled her a lot but she was still quite positive towards life. Due to the pain in her throat, she cannot eat normally, so the doctor recommended putting in a tube to feed her. However, the process of getting the tube in is very painful so she kept putting it off. We tried to encourage her to get the tube because otherwise she cannot eat. At the end, she was still reluctant to put in the tube but somewhat accepted it. She also mentioned death during our chat. However, she also talked about how ‘naughty’ she was in the hospital and how she teased all the nurses. It sounded that she had not given up on her life. I really hope that she could try to adapt to the life with the tube and never give up fighting against her diseases.

She likes social workers and the Christians who have offered her a lot of help during her stay in hospital. Although she is alone in Singapore, she does not want to move to Malaysia where part of her family lives.

She got really excited when we asked her about the stories behind her old photos. It seemed that she was happy that we were there listening to her stories. She shook our hands and gave each of us a warm hug when we left.

I think sometimes what the elderly need is just someone patient enough to listen to them. They have numerous life stories and experiences to share but there is just no one whom they can talk to. Reflecting on my own behavior during the visit, I think I could have ask more questions about those interesting points in her narrative. I was afraid that I might touch on some sensitive topics. However, I felt that when we asked questions and showed interest in her stories, her face lit up and her voice became brighter. I do not know if there are people that she can talk with besides us. It seemed that she welcomes us visiting her because she had kept talking without stopping the moment we arrived at her home.

Visiting her also reminded me of my grandparents. Since I do not live in the same city as them, I rarely have chance to talk to them. When I visit them during festivals, they keep asking me questions about my life and offering me food. I have never really sat down to listen to their stories. Basically, I learned about my grandparents’ lives from my parents. This summer, I will try to find a chance to visit my grandparents and talk with them. I suddenly realized the urgency of listening to them since one of my grandfathers has already passed away. I have alot of questions to ask them. Where have they been to? How did they marry? What were the biggest challenges in their life? What are their perceptions on happiness? How do they understand life and death? Suddenly I feel that every elderly is a treasure of experience and wisdom. They are not people who are weak and need help but have a whole life to share with the younger generations.

The visit was a rewarding and enjoyable experience for me. I would like to join more of T.H.E Seniors' activities in the coming few years.

Zhang Siyao

A fresh-’girl’ of NUS from China